Category: fundamentalism

…

I’m beginning to feel better…I stilll miss them all really badly…but I can enjoy doing stuff now, at least. I’ve already started to see the effects of camp on me…the positive ones, that is. 😛 I did push ups and sit ups for like 20 minutes last night, and started reading my Bible again (from now on referred to as Quiet Time…called thus because it’s like my 20 minutes to spend with God, no music, games, or phone, etc., while reading/writing). I’m starting to feel better about myself…a bit. Today I’m gonna put a pre-order on Halo 2 and Fable, then my mom is gonna order three shirts from Think Geek (1 2 and 3). I put a letter to Elizabeth in the mail…I’m still waiting for Maria to send me a reply to my email, and I spent 30 some odd minutes talking to Amanda and Patrick on the phone…(Amanda left her suitcase at camp. *snicker*)…anyways! I have pictures of all the camp people, but most of em are really bad. I’ll wait for Daniel or Emma or someone to scan some up. Tomorrow I’ll get a haircut…much needed one. I may try spiking my hair a little bit…I remember it looked good in 6th grade when Jonathan did it to my hair, and my hair hasn’t really changed much since then, so it’s worth a shot. Speaking of Jonathan….CHRISTOPHER AND JONATHAN ARE COMING!! For all those uninformed, Christopher got shipped out of Iraq a few weeks ago, and he’s in Germany. He and Jonathan will get here on the 21st. I’m looking forward to that. I also mowed one lawn today…beyond that, I haven’t done much so far. Gwen, Eileen, and Tasnah said they were gonna play frisbee, but I guess they decided not to or something.

I also have a cold. Yucky.

>.<

Camp was awesome. Just plain awesome. Emotionally… it may be the hardest thing I’ve ever done, waving my friends goodbye for another year. But it was just so awesome. The title “>.

For those of you who aren’t clued in, I went to Word of Life from Friday to today. WoL is a Christian camp in the Adirondacs, by Schroon Lake. The camp is an island – about 1 mile in circumference. We left Friday and drove 5 hours and stayed at a 100% RV campground which we thought was a real campground – it was packed with RVs and trailers. We spent the night there and left for WoL after getting some breakfast (it was only like 15 minutes away from the campground). We got ourselves registered and took the ferry to the island. I was in the same cabin as Daniel (we weren’t lucky enough to get a cabin with the Ohio guys) per request and we had two really cool counselors. The Counselors are students at the WoL Bible Institute. As a part of their work they stay as counselors for 9 weeks. Our main counselor, Adam, was a second-year student. He really has gotta be one of the coolest guys I’ve ever met. He was really funny, and helped me figure out a lot of stuff that I just didn’t understand about my life. Our other counselor, Anthony, was also really funny. He was always smiling and was shamefully easy to mock. His mind was something like that of a fish. “Man I had the worst day…well…it was ok….(5 minutes later)….it was great!” Both guys were really cool. Adam and I had these really painful yet amusing fights….the whole point was for me to slap him…we seriously jumped around in the food court (the Snack Shack) for an hour before I finally was able to slap him twice. He was slapping me really hard though! Anyways…*cough*

For me, this week was purely a learning experience. In talking with Adam I realized I was so clueless when it came to my perspective on God’s plan, will, and desire. I’ve been too confident in myself – I thought I had it all figured out. Until I had talked with Adam, I really was almost suicidal. I was really hating on myself…it wasn’t cool. I’m all good now…no worries…it’s kinda weird to explain why..but…I sorta felt like I had nothing unique to me. A bunch of little stuff I kept messing up with (like tripping…I do take pride in being very well balanced) added up and just drove me nuts. It sounds stupid…but I don’t feel like explaining it all.

The main reason I go to WoL is to see my friends from Ohio. There’s a lot of them now – Maria, Jessica, Patrick, Elizabeth, Amanda, Zach, Josh…and I think that’s most of the group I had met already. I met a bunch of people this year that they brought along – Camdon, Jeremy, Danielle, and…oh I can’t remember her name….she was 13, but by some heavenly power she looked 21. Moving on. I also met a handful of other people…there was another Amanda, who live some 5 hours away from us…and thenthere were two 13-14 year old girls, Liz and Jackie, who were completely obsessed with the possibility of my being French. Of which there is none. They live within two hours from me, at least, they never said gave any landmarks as to where they lived….I have their address though. I have a lot of addresses actually. Which makes me happy. Anyways, there were a bunch of people in my cabin worth getting to know….CJ, Brian and Brian…I also got to meet Emma’s two cousins, Jodi and Luke. Jodi was really nice, as was Luke. Luke followed me around a little more than I would have preferred, but that’s okay. It only really bothered me when I was trying to talk with Elizabeth. But that’s another story for another day. Which, I can assure you, won’t come.

Overall…an awesome week. I barely managed to keep from crying this morning (at 8:00) as we waved goodbye to them. This whole thing has reminded me to get back into emailing with them again, which I’ve failed to do all year. I don’t wanna rant too much more, I’m off to write some emails.

…

I had a great time at Sam’s party, it was definately something I’ll remember for years to come. I got to meet Kat who wasn’t really all that bad as she was made out to be. There were a lot of tears, and it was pretty hard to maintain a stoic face. Besides the lack of food (I had a breadstick for dinner) it was really, really nice to be there with my friends outside of school. It really made me remember that I have better things to do than sit at my computer all day. At the moment, I’m really mellow. I finished up my going away present for Sam and decked it out with ribbons and a bow. It looks presentable, at least. The only other true point of interest I have is that I got the best shirt ever from Jared. We’ve all seen the classic “Ithaca is Gorges” t-shirt…but now, we have presented to the world, the ever truthful “Ithaca is Froehlich”. I’ll post a picture of it when it’s not 1:45 AM and when my parents aren’t home (we aren’t getting along this week. I have a susupicion that it’s not going to get any better for a very long time) to guard the camera.

This next part is a bit of a rant…

As for the rest of my week, I went through a few … heated debated with my dad about whether I have to go to New York City with him. You see, my parents are going to some conference, which is held on Sunday or Saturday night or something. My dad wants me to come along, but I really have no reason to go. It’s a five hour drive both ways, and I don’t have anything to entertain me for that long. Besides that, I really have no desire to spend a very long Saturday just with my dad. Now, if there were a few tech museums that were actually well laid out and presented in an interesting and logical manner, that would be a different manner, but all my dad came up with was a subsection of the Museum of Natural History – a planitarium. That’s cool, but not cool enough to go for three days. I’ll go another time, maybe. In case you hadn’t noticed I’m in a “I hate my parents mood.” This is partially because of a lecture my dad presented to me about three hours ago concerning those of the female persuasion. Apparantly he made a few observations at the party (he was there, I don’t know why, but he never left after taking me there) that a few of my friends (female) were “unhappy and wanting attention”. Besides this being a completely baseless obervation, it’s pretty insulting to me as he insults my friends. He also took it upon himself to recall his troubles as a youngster with girls and assumed I might need to hear the outdated perspective of a guy who led (and still leads) a very different life to that of my own. Whether it’s his duty or not as a parent to bestow his wisdom and experience on me, I would actually prefer to learn on my own, though his little lecture didn’t actually come across anyways, his points didn’t seem to link together in any logical manner.

I’m done.

O.o

More conversations on homosexuality. Count this #5. The other 2 I had were really just repeats of previous happenings. This one was between a person I’ve only talked to once before, and hits a bit closer to my faith in God.

Goodi2shusbabi (9:18:12 PM): heylo

Steak220 (9:18:20 PM): hey

Steak220 (9:18:33 PM): here to debate, I presume?

Steak220 (9:18:40 PM): and you’re kat, right?

Goodi2shusbabi (9:18:42 PM): hehe yeah

Goodi2shusbabi (9:18:44 PM): to both

Goodi2shusbabi (9:19:11 PM): and i have the most right to over either sho or zoe becuase it actually pertains to me (if i lived in mass.)

Steak220 (9:19:48 PM): yeah, zoe wasn’t really willing to listen to what I have to say

Steak220 (9:19:55 PM): sho was, but I’m willing to talk more

Goodi2shusbabi (9:20:05 PM): ::folds hands and waits pstiently::

Steak220 (9:21:48 PM): ok, I’m a little less flushed now…

Goodi2shusbabi (9:21:54 PM): lol okay

Steak220 (9:21:54 PM): what’s your first point to bring up?

Goodi2shusbabi (9:22:17 PM): why should two people who are in love, same sex or opposite sex be denied the right to make that legal?

Goodi2shusbabi (9:22:26 PM): and recognized by society?

Steak220 (9:22:57 PM): in a nutshell, I believe it is wrong, it’s immoral, but that’s just the opinionated part

Steak220 (9:23:52 PM): but I believe that homosexuality is unnatural, I believe it was produced by the confusion of our minds

Goodi2shusbabi (9:24:31 PM): in the eyes of a religion it may be immoral but do you think God would want us to suffer by trying to bend to the whims of society by not expressing our love for someone or be happy and together with those we love

Goodi2shusbabi (9:24:51 PM): it’s scientifically proven that homosexuality is caused by a certain chemical present in the brain

Steak220 (9:25:19 PM): I am not too sure about the chemical presence

Steak220 (9:25:28 PM): there is no gay gene, it can’t be inherited

Goodi2shusbabi (9:25:35 PM): thats true

Goodi2shusbabi (9:26:25 PM): but there is soemthing present in gay peoples minds that isn’t in striaght peoples minds

Goodi2shusbabi (9:26:31 PM): its a proven fact

Steak220 (9:27:26 PM): i won’t argue the presence of it, but you can also say of certain sicknesses, that the chemical can be produced later on in life

Steak220 (9:28:09 PM): a chemical presence may or may not mean muc

Steak220 (9:28:12 PM): much*

Goodi2shusbabi (9:29:46 PM): yeah well why should we be denied the right to display our emotions, why should we be scorned for our sexuality just because we’re ‘different’ or not ‘normal’ whats the standard for being normal?!

Steak220 (9:30:09 PM): simple science can tell you something about it

Steak220 (9:30:53 PM): two guys can’t reproduce, two women can’t reproduce, now I know you don’t have to have a baby in order to love, but that does say something

Steak220 (9:31:15 PM): in theory, if all people were gay, in 100 years, the world would be completely gone

Goodi2shusbabi (9:31:15 PM): yeah so

Goodi2shusbabi (9:32:37 PM): at least we’re not going around getting knocked up while we’re still minors, and when we are old enough to legally have sex then what about all those poor kids out there that are put up for adoption and have to live our of a plastic garbage bag as they’re moved from place to place triyng to find a home, don’t they need someone who can love them> and why does it matter whether that person is gay or staright as long as they can provide a good, safe home environment?

Steak220 (9:33:13 PM): but I believe they can’t provide what a child really needs: balance

Steak220 (9:33:28 PM): food, shelter, clothes, yeah, those can be provided by just about anyone, if they’re willing

Steak220 (9:35:58 PM): how can two men or two women provide an equal and fair view life and experience?

Steak220 (9:36:27 PM): there are certain things men experience then women don’t, and vice versa, so how could two men give that kid the experience that a woman has?

Goodi2shusbabi (9:36:49 PM): its better to have two loving fathers/mothers than none at all

Steak220 (9:37:57 PM): look at it this way: if you have to buy some food, one dollar isn’t gonna get you there, even though one dollar is better than none

Goodi2shusbabi (9:38:37 PM): ….one dollar meals at micky d’s

Goodi2shusbabi (9:38:38 PM): lol

Goodi2shusbabi (9:38:49 PM): but thats just being biased

Steak220 (9:39:47 PM): but it isn’t, I’m believing everything I tell you off of what I can tell from common sense, from what I see, from what I experience, everything around me tells me this

Goodi2shusbabi (9:39:58 PM): you’re straight so of course your goign to think its wrong if anything differnet comes along, as a human your intitled to believe taht you are right and aything that contradicts you is wrong but what about us, us the gay people of the world who have to go through tortue to get a job, or to havea relationship or even have a steady, peaceful life, what about us?

Goodi2shusbabi (9:40:05 PM): what about every man is created equal?

Steak220 (9:40:39 PM): did I ever say homosexuals were LESS than heterosexuals? ever? i believe I didn’t

Steak220 (9:40:53 PM): I am saying the act, not the actor is wrong

Goodi2shusbabi (9:41:14 PM): but whats the sense in being the actor if you’re never gi en the cahnce to be on the stage>

Steak220 (9:42:00 PM): ok, change that to, I hate the sin, not the sinner.

Steak220 (9:42:30 PM): yes, I just called homosexuality a sin

Goodi2shusbabi (9:44:34 PM): where does it say that homeosexuality is a sin>?

Steak220 (9:45:11 PM): aha, in the Bible, my friend, the base of my life

Goodi2shusbabi (9:45:25 PM): oh god

Goodi2shusbabi (9:45:34 PM): its now i notice you ahve the same font as sam luddy

Goodi2shusbabi (9:45:36 PM): oh lord…

Goodi2shusbabi (9:45:45 PM): yes i jsut sinned again, so shoot me

Steak220 (9:45:54 PM): did I not just say something?

Steak220 (9:45:58 PM): hate the sin, not the sinner?

Steak220 (9:46:20 PM): i don’t like how you take my God’s name in vain, but I’m not going to force anything on you

Goodi2shusbabi (9:46:44 PM): i’m an active bi0sexual young lady who’s a devoted catholic and lives by t he bible but doesn’t live strictly word by word with the bible.

Steak220 (9:46:56 PM): so you don’t live by the Bible

Steak220 (9:47:27 PM): Bible can’t be paraphrased, intepreted, or changed, it is what it is, and you either follow it or you don’t

Goodi2shusbabi (9:48:12 PM): if you lived word by word of the bible you’d be amish

Steak220 (9:48:22 PM): not tru, not tru

Goodi2shusbabi (9:48:22 PM): are you amish tim?

Goodi2shusbabi (9:48:27 PM): yes, yes it is

Steak220 (9:48:58 PM): nowhere does it say you should give up all mechanical devices, move to the country, etc.

Steak220 (9:49:04 PM): if I lived by the Bible

Steak220 (9:49:07 PM): I would never swear

Steak220 (9:49:12 PM): I would study and pray every day

Steak220 (9:49:18 PM): stidy the Bible, that is

Goodi2shusbabi (9:49:30 PM): lemme ask tyou a question

Steak220 (9:49:32 PM): and many more things

Goodi2shusbabi (9:49:50 PM): ever had a girlfriend?( i have a point i promise)

Steak220 (9:49:51 PM): unfortunately, I don’t do all that, but I do my best

Steak220 (9:49:58 PM): no, I have never had the luck

Goodi2shusbabi (9:50:07 PM): do you still ahve virgin lips?

Steak220 (9:50:13 PM): yes, I do

Goodi2shusbabi (9:50:27 PM): are u proud of that?

Steak220 (9:50:58 PM): I would actually prefer to have a girlfriend I could kiss, or at least would kiss me, but no, I don’t really show it off

Steak220 (9:51:15 PM): if you mean by speech, unfortunately I do swear, but I stopped

Goodi2shusbabi (9:52:05 PM): see by saying you’d perfer a gf to kiss or to be kissed by technically you’re have sinful thoughts

Steak220 (9:52:17 PM): actually, that’s not true

Goodi2shusbabi (9:52:25 PM): trust me i just spent a whole 3 weeks on a sexual responsibility talk with my religion teacher

Goodi2shusbabi (9:52:37 PM): i will prevail on this one

Steak220 (9:52:49 PM): nowhere in the BIble does it say ‘you may not kiss a girl, or you are an adulterer’

Steak220 (9:53:11 PM): it DOES say, however ‘if you look at a women with lustful thoughts, you have already committed adultery’

Goodi2shusbabi (9:54:30 PM): so….are you a homophob tim?

Steak220 (9:54:45 PM): no, I’m not

Steak220 (9:55:04 PM): when I look at guy or girl I know is homosexual, I don’t cringe, or cower, or sneer

Goodi2shusbabi (9:55:49 PM): lol, i admit it i’m a bad person

Goodi2shusbabi (9:58:06 PM): not only have a ‘acted’ as you put it, but i have malice for you, i want so bad to hurt you right now because of how strongly our opinions contradict and all the muscles in my arms are tense at the moment jsut becuase i’m extremely pissed of but not just fot that reason, i’m a bad person becuase i disrespect people, i’m openly bi, i think not dirty but immoral thoughts aobut other young women such as myself and i have nothing against gay men and women having the right to get married, i even encourage the homophobic country we are to overcome our predjudiceness and stop actign liek a bunch of mf-ers

Steak220 (9:59:16 PM): I don’t really mind that you hate me

Steak220 (9:59:22 PM): I’m not here to be liked

Steak220 (9:59:33 PM): I’m trying to explain to you what I believe, and why I believe

Goodi2shusbabi (9:59:44 PM): i can’t hate, i’m incapable of being hated, i just hte based people who don’t give people like me who are different a chance

Steak220 (10:00:14 PM): you’re taking my beliefs out of context, though

Steak220 (10:00:44 PM): let me explain every aspect of my belief on homosexuality

Steak220 (10:01:24 PM): i believe that homosexuality is the result of confusion, a mixed up state, which is not a physical thing, but a mental thing, turned physical

Goodi2shusbabi (10:01:36 PM): no…all this year i’ve been bitch at how the whole way i live my life is jstut wrong and i’m a selfish bitch but hey, if thats who i am then i’m proud to be a gay suicidal catholic who’s clincally depressed at hasn’t found herself yet

Steak220 (10:01:52 PM): I believe that it is commonly cause by dysfunctional families, by a msled childhood, or perhaps a misinformed one

Goodi2shusbabi (10:02:00 PM): missed that last one sorry

Steak220 (10:02:39 PM): I believe that gays are equal to other people, that they should have all rights, because they are people, but not the right of marriage, or any other sanction of the governemnt

Steak220 (10:03:14 PM): I believe they should not have that sanction, because homosexuality has too many ill effects on all those involved

Steak220 (10:03:45 PM): I believe, that homosexuals have the ability to make a choice, a choice to NOT be homosexual

Goodi2shusbabi (10:03:55 PM): thats not true

Goodi2shusbabi (10:04:06 PM): but anyone who’s staright would say it s

Steak220 (10:04:19 PM): I also believe that my God created this earth, with the intention of romantic relationships consistening of ONE MAN, and ONE WOMAN

Goodi2shusbabi (10:04:37 PM): anyone who hasn’t experienced being gay wouldn’t know that sometimes it can kill you, it can hurt you so bad taht you wish you coudo g et out but you’re just…trapped

Steak220 (10:04:52 PM): I believe that my God views gays and straight humans equally, because all people are sinners, and homosexuality is a sin like any other

Goodi2shusbabi (10:05:12 PM): it likes glass box, sealed air tight, you can see hte outsdie you jsut can’t reach it

Steak220 (10:05:32 PM): I believe that if this law is passed, absolutely nothing good will come of it, I believe that if this law is passed, that our country will truly fall into pieces, because of what will ensue

Steak220 (10:06:00 PM): fortunately, gays have a choice they can make

Goodi2shusbabi (10:06:04 PM): nothing bad can come of love

Steak220 (10:06:06 PM): unfortunately, it is a VERY hard choice

Goodi2shusbabi (10:06:13 PM): there is no choice

Goodi2shusbabi (10:06:19 PM): how can you people not understand this

Steak220 (10:06:38 PM): yes there is, did you know that thousands of gays have gotten help, and realized what they were doing was wrong, and became straight?

Steak220 (10:06:42 PM): it happens EVERY DAY

Steak220 (10:06:46 PM): you don’t hear about it

Steak220 (10:06:50 PM): because of propoganda

Steak220 (10:06:59 PM): you won’t believe me, because you don’t agree with me

Goodi2shusbabi (10:07:10 PM): lesbaisn and bi women, you don’t know how hard i’ve prayed at night that i could be straight that i could be normal, not have problems that people coudl blame me for

Goodi2shusbabi (10:07:13 PM): thats alo your doing

Steak220 (10:07:28 PM): jsut cause u wish it will happen doesn’t mean it will

Goodi2shusbabi (10:07:31 PM): we’re differnet and you feel like you ahve to blame so,meome soyou blame us when we can’t do anything aobut the way we are

Steak220 (10:07:54 PM): you have to put your entire day, your entire life into it, and it takes more than your effort to do it

Goodi2shusbabi (10:07:59 PM): God never made anyone perfect, gays included so why does everyone expect us not to be gay

Goodi2shusbabi (10:08:03 PM): i have no life

Steak220 (10:08:11 PM): because it isn’t natural, God didn’t create you this way!

Steak220 (10:08:16 PM): you BECAME this way

Goodi2shusbabi (10:08:21 PM): i jsut exist, okay, i have worse probelms than my sexuality to worry aobut

Goodi2shusbabi (10:08:25 PM): yeah, i know

Goodi2shusbabi (10:08:30 PM): i became a lot of things

Steak220 (10:08:35 PM): if you know, then why do you say you cannot change?

Goodi2shusbabi (10:08:38 PM): and i’ve sinned so much in my life

Steak220 (10:08:48 PM): so has everyone else!

Steak220 (10:08:55 PM): you think I’m perfect?

Goodi2shusbabi (10:09:00 PM): becuase theresa fine line between happiness and depression, depression and being suicidal, striaght and gay

Goodi2shusbabi (10:09:09 PM): and once you’ve crossed it theres almost never any going back

Steak220 (10:09:14 PM): but there is!

Steak220 (10:09:17 PM): lots of people go back!

Goodi2shusbabi (10:09:26 PM): lots of people ,apaprently not me

Steak220 (10:09:39 PM): it’s beacause you aren’t willing to do what it takes to make that change happen

Steak220 (10:10:17 PM): I can tell, just from the way you talk, that you’ve given up already, or you don’t care

Goodi2shusbabi (10:10:57 PM): i tried okay, maggie broke my heart, i realized i’d never get anythign out of liking females and i tried to be straight okay, i hate liking girls but thats who i am and thats who i’m supposed to ber apparently nd i hate that everyday i struggle with myself and hate who i am maybe becuae of that or maybe not but all i know is that i’m not a good person, i don’t deserve 2 be judged as one and i’m already a failure in the plan laid out for the world

Goodi2shusbabi (10:11:04 PM): and thers no going back from that, none at all

Steak220 (10:11:21 PM): yes there is! God will never let you go into a point of no return!

Steak220 (10:11:27 PM): the only time that will ever happen, is when you die

Steak220 (10:12:22 PM): by then, you’ve already had your time to make a decision, and that’s it, you’re either in heaven or hell

Steak220 (10:12:45 PM): but you gotta understand, God still loves you, even though you may be suffering, he’s there

Steak220 (10:12:58 PM): you just gotta reach out for him, and you’ve got all the help you need right thre

Goodi2shusbabi (10:13:06 PM): people are always telling me i must have something graet to do in this world

Goodi2shusbabi (10:13:12 PM): god has stopped me from dying to many times

Goodi2shusbabi (10:13:40 PM): but i just don’t see what i can do, i can’t even make it through each day without crying and wishing he’d let me die

Steak220 (10:14:19 PM): i know what that feels like, I’ve been there before

Steak220 (10:14:29 PM): it’s VERY hard to get out of there

Goodi2shusbabi (10:15:08 PM): eah well this is a relapse for me, and i dunno, it seems like i just exist and i’m walking someone esles life

Goodi2shusbabi (10:15:12 PM): someone i could never be

Steak220 (10:15:40 PM): but u can be that person, but you gotta put your effort into it

Steak220 (10:15:42 PM): if you really want it

Steak220 (10:15:51 PM): then you gotta really do it

Goodi2shusbabi (10:16:16 PM): i have to go

Goodi2shusbabi (10:16:17 PM): bye

Steak220 (10:16:22 PM): alright…

Goodi2shusbabi (10:16:22 PM): g

Steak220 (10:16:23 PM): ttyl

Steak220 (10:16:25 PM): take care

Steak220 (10:16:31 PM): wait

Steak220 (10:16:38 PM): may i post this in my blog?

Goodi2shusbabi (10:16:43 PM): yeah sure

Steak220 (10:16:45 PM): thanks

O.o

A conversation I had with a friend, who lives in Massechusetts.

xKirby at Home (5:30:42 PM): so i was right, hm?

xKirby at Home (5:30:45 PM): 🙂

Steak220 (5:30:59 PM): lol, not really, it hasn’t been passed yet

xKirby at Home (5:31:09 PM): but theyre rewriting the consitution for ma

Steak220 (5:31:34 PM): if they are, that really pisses me off

xKirby at Home (5:31:46 PM): why?

xKirby at Home (5:31:55 PM): you dont live in ma

Steak220 (5:32:04 PM): gay marraige is wrong, it shouldn’t be allowed

xKirby at Home (5:32:12 PM): bullshit

Steak220 (5:32:32 PM): im not homophobic, but you gotta understand, homosexuality is immoral, wrong

xKirby at Home (5:32:32 PM): you just say that because you dont want gay people to feel equal

Steak220 (5:32:37 PM): rofl

Steak220 (5:32:47 PM): they ARE equal, my friend, but they want more than equality now

Steak220 (5:32:57 PM): they’re trying to push it so NOBODY will oppose what they do

xKirby at Home (5:32:58 PM): they are not equal if they cant marry

Steak220 (5:33:15 PM): oh, but nobody wants to marry anyways, because it’s just a piece of paper, right?

xKirby at Home (5:33:17 PM): everyone always opposes something, they want to express their love by marriage, whats so wrong with that?

Steak220 (5:33:57 PM): it’s so screwed up how this mentality of ‘marriage is just confining and a piece of paper’ and ‘we want marriage rights’ go on at the same time

xKirby at Home (5:34:17 PM): its only immoral because of certain religions, but who knows if any god even exists, there are such things as homosexua animals, and if they can be homosexual, then so can humans, its natural

Steak220 (5:34:29 PM): but back to my main belief, i believe, just from looking at the antomy of the male and female body, that homosexuality is wrong

Steak220 (5:34:43 PM): two men can’t make a baby, can they?

Steak220 (5:34:50 PM): two women can’t make a baby, can they?

Steak220 (5:35:03 PM): now, i know kids aren’t a prerequisite of marriage

Steak220 (5:35:14 PM): but I’m talking about the homosexuality itself

Steak220 (5:35:43 PM): i also know, that homosexuality is a mental thing, turned physical into later years, it isn’t genetic

Steak220 (5:36:01 PM): there is no ‘gay gene’ like they say, there is scientific proof of this

xKirby at Home (5:36:20 PM): who are you to claim whats natural and immoral anyway? who is anyone to decide, all humans are equal, and no one can just decide “being gay is wrong”

Steak220 (5:36:36 PM): did I ever say ‘homosexuals are wrong’?

Steak220 (5:36:41 PM): no, i say the act is wrong

Steak220 (5:37:08 PM): and if you want to bring my authority in this, nobody has the right to decide anything anyway, because we’re all equal, right?

Steak220 (5:37:59 PM): people that were gay in their youth, but then got help, and realized what they were doing was wrong, can tell you the same thing I am

xKirby at Home (5:38:19 PM): you do realized that both sides are biased and there will never be someone who is capable of proving either side is completely right, humans arent like that, never have been, never will be

xKirby at Home (5:38:24 PM): being gay isnt wrong

xKirby at Home (5:38:26 PM): are you serious?

Steak220 (5:38:32 PM): i am VERY serious

Steak220 (5:38:55 PM): you make it sound so futile, as if nobody can decide because we’re all biased, and can’t amke a decision

Steak220 (5:39:14 PM): i’m not biased against gays, I believe that the act of homosexuality is wrong

xKirby at Home (5:39:32 PM): my family is all straight, inever knew what homosexuality or bisexuality was until later, yet at younger ages i found myself attracted to men and women

Steak220 (5:39:44 PM): a gay person has a choice, they can decide NOT to be gay

Steak220 (5:40:04 PM): i know you are bisexual, and I can’t claim to explain why you are

xKirby at Home (5:40:18 PM): yes they can, but if they decide that they never were really gay, they were just having psychological issues

Steak220 (5:40:50 PM): actually, homoesxuality is more confusion phsychologically

Steak220 (5:41:18 PM): the way I see it, it is viewing attractions in a skewed manner

xKirby at Home (5:41:45 PM): but its not of your business if a person decides to be gay or not, you have no right to tell people what not to like or be attracted to

xKirby at Home (5:41:50 PM): none*

Steak220 (5:42:37 PM): how is it not my business? is that is so, then I should just ignore the person getting mugged on the street, walk among the ghetto and not drop a penny, and treat my friends like crap because what they do and feel isn’t my business

Steak220 (5:43:17 PM): this is exactly on the same plane as all that

xKirby at Home (5:43:19 PM): getting friggan mugged or treating people like crap is a completely different issue, when someone is gay and they dont harm anyone else, it is NONE of your business

Steak220 (5:43:51 PM): actually, lemme explain to you why I believe this REALLY shouldn’t be passed

Steak220 (5:43:58 PM): it’s because it’s against the structure of the family

xKirby at Home (5:44:21 PM): its just because youre close minded

Steak220 (5:44:26 PM): the family is so incredibly important to my views, and this would take away greatly from it’s structure

Steak220 (5:44:44 PM): and I believe I have demostrated the fact that I am open to most views, but I know my facts and my beliefs on this matter

Steak220 (5:45:05 PM): is being close minded making informed decisions on life?

Steak220 (5:45:09 PM): i hope not

xKirby at Home (5:45:18 PM): you know what tho?

xKirby at Home (5:46:59 PM): if being gay, or gays having children or getting married wasnt publicized as bad, no one would ever know the difference, it would be natural, yet somewhere along the line people just decide to let everyone know this is wrong

Steak220 (5:47:14 PM): actually, it isn’t publicized as bad

Steak220 (5:47:22 PM): where in the news, or media do you see ‘gay is bad’?

Steak220 (5:47:39 PM): look, when I was 9 years old

Steak220 (5:47:45 PM): and I had no influence on whether it was right or not

Steak220 (5:48:00 PM): i asked what being gay was, and my bro told me it was two guys liking eachother

Steak220 (5:48:05 PM): there is NO bias in that explanation

Steak220 (5:48:09 PM): from NO bias at all

Steak220 (5:48:15 PM): i made a decision

Steak220 (5:48:20 PM): that it was skewed, wrong

xKirby at Home (5:48:24 PM): nope

xKirby at Home (5:49:55 PM): youre too young to make that decision, you couldnt have logically thought it out yourself, you were just brought up in a straight family, not knowing that homosexuality existed, and then when it was brought up, you realized that something was wrong about it, but you only realized this because you recognized your lifestyle (and familys) as the normal, because they brought you up like that and they familiarized it like that

xKirby at Home (5:50:04 PM): sorry, change that to past tense stuff

Steak220 (5:50:26 PM): actually, no

Steak220 (5:50:29 PM): i knew at that age

Steak220 (5:50:40 PM): that two guys can’t do stuff that a guy and a girl can’t

Steak220 (5:50:48 PM): from ONLY THAT, i concluded it was wrong

Steak220 (5:50:58 PM): my surroundings and lifestyle had nothing to do with it

xKirby at Home (5:52:01 PM): in the sense of reproduction and continuing (sp?) the human existence, yes that would be wrong, but dont some people choose not to have kids? isnt that wrong too? because, basically, animals are only on earth to reproduce (if you put your religious beliefs aside) and continue the cycle of life

xKirby at Home (5:52:16 PM): but thats wrong, that your surroundings/lifestyle had nothing to do with it

xKirby at Home (5:52:44 PM): thats wrong say that youre surrrounds/… etc

xKirby at Home (5:52:49 PM): saying*

xKirby at Home (5:52:51 PM): dammit

Steak220 (5:52:56 PM): lol, my belief that it is wrong has little to do with the fact that two guys can’t reproduce

Steak220 (5:53:01 PM): it’s more about the repricussions

Steak220 (5:53:28 PM): it screws up the way families work

Steak220 (5:53:39 PM): families are supposed to be ONE man, ONE woman

Steak220 (5:53:52 PM): and with just those two

Steak220 (5:53:54 PM): that’s a family

Steak220 (5:54:05 PM): and they have a choice to take that marriage where ever they want

Steak220 (5:54:08 PM): kids or no kids

xKirby at Home (5:56:14 PM): then, by all means, when you get older, shelter your kids from homosexuality as much as you can, but for people out there who find homosexuality satisfying and normal, just leave them alone, they have a choice…

Steak220 (5:56:24 PM): rofl

Steak220 (5:56:31 PM): your view of a family is SO very wrong

Steak220 (5:57:01 PM): you’re thinking of the most conservative Christian family known to the world, with no TVs, no computers, and they all homeskool

Steak220 (5:57:11 PM): you realize how very few of those families exist?

Steak220 (5:57:27 PM): VERY VERY FEW

Steak220 (5:57:47 PM): and I would know, my dad is a pastor, we’ve gone to families he knows throughout my entire life

Steak220 (5:58:20 PM): and I didn’t even know what homosexuality was, until, like I said, I was 9

Steak220 (5:58:28 PM): never heard of it from my parents, brothers, or church

Steak220 (5:58:49 PM): i don’t even remember my church before I was 9 or 10

xKirby at Home (5:59:18 PM): you just think youre better and you think you should be able to make decisions for other people, thats all it comes down to, in a scenario who the hell cares if your kids turn out gay? hes still your kid, and whether or not this screws up your view of family, that shouldnt matter… would you put your son down for being gay? or your daughter? thats what youre doing to other people, and you find it easier to do it to them because they arent family

Steak220 (5:59:31 PM): wow, that just from looking at that FIRST line

Steak220 (5:59:57 PM): I can tell that you’re making uninformed observations, being defensive, mad, and not really thinking about what you’re saying

xKirby at Home (6:00:08 PM): did you read it all?

Steak220 (6:00:17 PM): yes, i did, and you know what?

Steak220 (6:00:42 PM): If I grew up, had a family, and my kid turned gay, I wouldn’t be mad at him, and I’d be mad at me for failing him

Steak220 (6:00:52 PM): because it would be MY job

xKirby at Home (6:00:54 PM): thats really sad

xKirby at Home (6:00:57 PM): and pathetic

Steak220 (6:01:08 PM): to show him what it is to be a man

Steak220 (6:01:49 PM): did you know, that if you asked just about any gay man, he would tell you he had no strong father figure in his youth

Steak220 (6:02:14 PM): if there’s no father, or grandfather, or uncle, who can act like a father to that kid, then a lot of times, the kid will become gay

Steak220 (6:02:29 PM): this is again, back to the structure of the family

xKirby at Home (6:02:35 PM): ha, thats funny… i didnt have a good father figure until recently, and hes a friend

xKirby at Home (6:02:39 PM): maybe youre right

xKirby at Home (6:06:09 PM): but i still dont think you should put anyone down for doing what they like, and its not fair or humane, people making sure gays cant live equally, thats not fair, and it upsets people, and before i understood who i was, i was depressed all the time because i didnt want people to think less of me because i liked guys as well as girls, because so many people put out that message, and sometimes i still dont know why im not the consider “normal” but i wanna be able to have rights just like anyone else, and if i want to marry a man when im of age, i should be able to.. i mean, i plan to marry a woman, just because the normal family usally can avoid complications such as these.. but what do i know? im a 14 year old and im just trying to say what i think is fair and right

Steak220 (6:06:17 PM): it’s not putting people down

xKirby at Home (6:06:46 PM): well it hurts them

Steak220 (6:06:55 PM): it’s about standing up for what is right

Steak220 (6:07:22 PM): and if everything you say is to avoid hurting people, then you might as well as not sasy anything

Steak220 (6:07:30 PM): but wait, not saying anything hurts people too, doesn’t it?

Steak220 (6:07:43 PM): this is called indifference, if you don’t stand up for what you believe

Steak220 (6:07:53 PM): I believe the act of homosexuality is wrong

xKirby at Home (6:08:39 PM): well, then its too late for me to be right then

Steak220 (6:08:55 PM): i said this earlier, chanigng is possible

Steak220 (6:08:58 PM): definately not easy

Steak220 (6:09:02 PM): but it IS possible

xKirby at Home (6:09:14 PM): no, its too late

Steak220 (6:09:29 PM): it’s only too late if you make it too late for yourself

Steak220 (6:09:50 PM): you’re the sole deiciding factor in this, you can change what your future may be like

xKirby at Home (6:10:18 PM): i dont know what decided id be bisexual, or how my mind started being attracted to both sexes, but as far as i can remember, ive been like this, so why fight it? itd be like fighting yourself, and thats just ridiculous

Steak220 (6:10:35 PM): yes, it si fighting yourself

Steak220 (6:10:40 PM): that’s exactly what it is

xKirby at Home (6:10:56 PM): youre supposed to love yourself for who you are, because youll need that to be confident

Steak220 (6:11:14 PM): but think of it this way: if you want to steal something, you probably wouldn’t let yourself, right? you wouldn’t, because you know it’s wrong, not to mention there would be bad consequences from it

Steak220 (6:11:25 PM): that is an example of fighting yourself

xKirby at Home (6:12:03 PM): yeah, i guess… but that is a lot less shallow than a thing like homosexuality, because its basically in my subconscious now, and itd take a hell out a lot of fighting to get it out of that

Steak220 (6:12:24 PM): i know that stealing and homosexuality are different, but it’s ahrd to create a good anaolgy

xKirby at Home (6:12:30 PM): true

Steak220 (6:12:42 PM): but I need to go to a church thingy in a few minutes

Steak220 (6:12:47 PM): do you mind if I post this in my blog?

xKirby at Home (6:13:02 PM): you can go ahead, ill prolly look like an idiot, but sure

Steak220 (6:13:05 PM): a few people have asked me why I believe homosexuality is wrong, and this is a wonderful explanation

Steak220 (6:13:23 PM): it’s hard to explain what I believe to people, especially since it takes so long

Steak220 (6:13:24 PM): but thanks

Steak220 (6:13:25 PM): 🙂

xKirby at Home (6:13:30 PM): no problem

A little bit later….

xKirby at Home (6:24:55 PM): lol, tim, that really affected me… and now you got me all confused, theres people telling me to be proud of who i am, and then theres others telling me, i am wrong… that father figure thing makes sense, seeing as my dad left my mom because he didnt want to be a father, and im guessing maybe i learned a lot more feminime qualities from my mom, since she raised me mostly and i always recognized her as my mother and someone to learn from the most, yet i remember not liking anyone sexually, and sometimes id look at my moms clothes magazines and show my mom or grandmother who i thought was pretty or not… and somewhere along the line, i began being interested in men as well as women, sexually, and the most recent time i can remember is when i hit puberty and began being interested in

Steak220 (6:25:40 PM): i’m really glad that you’re thinking about what I said

xKirby at Home (6:25:55 PM): “aggressive, competitive” things because all guys were, right? and yet i was attracted to the men that were wrestling, and i think puberty and wrestling was when i first realized i liked men, so i went along thinking i was “kind of gay” because i had no idea what bisexuality was, but later on, as i became more curious to things, i looked stuff up and realized, hey i like both sexes, im bisexual

Steak220 (6:25:57 PM): but I’m sorry, I know there’s a lot of opinions coming at you

Steak220 (6:26:37 PM): [nods]

xKirby at Home (6:26:48 PM): :X

xKirby at Home (6:27:32 PM): so maybe my lack of a father figure earlier in life and my confusion about my sexuality triggered all my insecurities and my low self esteem and my extreme self conscienceness

xKirby at Home (6:27:47 PM): not all of them, but a lot of them

Steak220 (6:28:13 PM): yeah, this is what I mean by the family, stuff like this happens when a family doesn’t work right

Steak220 (6:28:38 PM): im sorry about what u have to go through

xKirby at Home (6:29:00 PM): but homosexuality isnt the only thing that ruins families, so, its not like homosexuals are evil… maybe theyre just confused people?

xKirby at Home (6:29:38 PM): you can post this too if you want more, i dont mind..

Steak220 (6:29:58 PM): homosexuals don’t ruin families, but, in general, immorality does, and I don’t just mean homosexduality

Steak220 (6:30:13 PM): alcoholism, gambling, cheating, that all ruins families

Steak220 (6:30:58 PM): it’s the sin, not the sinner

xKirby at Home (6:31:30 PM): yeah, true

Steak220 (6:33:30 PM): but to me, in the end, it’s just all about the family

xKirby at Home (6:33:42 PM): yeah

xKirby at Home (6:33:47 PM): if you dont have a family, what do you hage?

xKirby at Home (6:33:50 PM): have*

Steak220 (6:34:02 PM): exactly

Steak220 (6:34:23 PM): im really glad you’re seeing what I was trying to show you

Steak220 (6:35:02 PM): i thought it was gonna end up like all my other conversations, with the two of us just showing to eachother we’ll never consider the other side’s view

Wow. It’s amazing looking at another person’s life, and realizing what they must go through. It’s really confusing to me, how something as seemingly simple as the act of homosexuality, can stir up so many things, feelings, just everything. But I’m really glad it wasn’t as much of a debate, as it was a conversation.

Good Day.

^^

Happy day, happy day. Nothing went wrong, everything just fell right into place, amazingly enough. Everyone was all dressed up for tonight, but I wasn’t. I just don’t like getting dressed up in something I don’t enjoy wearing. Besides, I’ll just be wearing an ARMY jacket. Hehe. I’m such a cheapskate when it comes to stuff like Halloween. Today was cool though. Just hangin with my friends and stuff.

Lunches are becoming less and less fun. A few weeks ago, everybody was happy, we all sat at the same table, and it was just all really fun the entire time. But now it’s just so boring. Everybody hates eachother for some stupid reason, or maybe not so stupid reason. I just don’t understand how these people could have been such good friends, and then let stupid stuff tear them apart.

I found that article I was going to post yesterday, so here it is. I BELIEVE it was written by a woman, which is really strange, but it would make a lot of sense if it were. I’ve made my own edits to fit it closer to reality and/or my life.

Begin Quote…

Why do men (usually) die first?

This is a question that has gone unanswered for centuries…… but, now we know.

If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race…you’re a male chauvinist.

If you stay home and do the housework…you’re a pansy.

If you work too hard…there’s never any time for her.

If you don’t work enough…you’re a good-for-nothing bum.

If you get a promotion ahead of her….. it’s favoritism.

If she gets a job ahead of you……it’s equal opportunity.

If you mention how nice she looks……it’s sexual harassment.

If you keep quiet……….it’s male indifference.

If you cry…………you’re a wimp.

If you don’t……..you’re an insensitive bastard.

If you make a decision without consulting her………you’re a chauvinist.

If she makes a decision without consulting you……she’s a liberated woman.

If you ask her to do something she doesn’t enjoy……. that’s domination.

If she asks you………it’s a favor.

If you appreciate the female form and that little red dress……you’re a pervert.

If you don’t…………..you’re gay.

If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape…………..you’re sexist.

If you don’t……………..you’re unromantic.

If you keep yourself in shape…………….you’re vain.

If you don’t…………….you’re a slob.

If you buy her flowers………….you’re after something.

If you don’t………………..you’re not thoughtful.

If you’re proud of your achievements……..you’re full of yourself.

If you aren’t………………..you’re not ambitious.

If she has a headache…………she’s tired.

If you have a headache………….you don’t love her anymore.

If you want it too often………you’re obsessed.

If you don’t…………….there must be someone else.

Men die first because they want to.

End Quote…

And the middle line is indifference.