As I continue to swim through my seas of self-doubt to try and figure out what exactly I want to do with my life, I consistently find myself in love with the internet. I can’t make a living out of loving the internet, though, and this is what concerns me.
I’m not as naturally brilliant as I’m used to convincing myself that I am. A 1930 on the SAT, a 4 on my APCS exam, and a 2.7 GPA this year just aren’t validating my continually waning superiority complex, although this is most certainly not the case when it comes to Halo. So, the reality here is, what do I do? The world isn’t gonna keep giving me credit for my stunning good looks and liquid-smooth voice. Teh possibilities, they are teh endless.
A prime element confounding this is the confusion of my natural preferences and tendencies with my bad habits and moods. For example: do I just not like working under other people, or am I really freakin’ lazy? Or both? I’m certainly at least somewhat lazy. But the pattern has been that when I’m working for my own benefit, and not my superior’s, I work faster and with greater quality. At least, I think. I’m not speaking on solid terms here.
The concept of running my own business doesn’t sound bad. In this way, I wish I were more artistic, as there are generally a lot of avenues for the artistic ones among us when it comes to self-management. I’m not entirely forgetting my love for writing here, but I don’t think I’m an author at heart. Journalism is still an option, of course, (even Photojournalism, as my mother suggested), but I have it on the sidelines for the moment. I could see myself running a little computer repair shop, really. It’d be a nice mix of interaction with people as well as doing something that I enjoy. A few months ago, I did make a big ‘revelation’ about how I thought I was wrong about my love for computers, and I’m not sure I was entirely wrong. However, I would be foolish to abandom them entirely (career-wise), especially considering I have been enjoying my work with Christopher at GNS.
I don’t expect to find concrete answers any time soon, but sorting things out through these posts has been quite productive overall, however moody it may make me seem. Patience in all things.
Jenn ate two pairs of my headphones (both were pairs I use for running, the earbud kind) this week, so I’m biking over to Best Buy tomorrow to get another pair, using the money Mom and Dad left for food (which I haven’t used yet, I’m getting pretty hungry). Being home alone is fun.
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Just curious, how many of y’all were aware that North Korea fired 5 non-nuclear warheads at the US and Japan? I hadn’t heard about this until two days ago. WW3 ftw? Especially considering how nobody likes eachother down there in the first place, I see bad things happening.
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