Let Us Assume

A few more site changes to note:

  • There’s a fully functional “about” section, linked at the top,
  • a fully functional index page linked from nowhere,
  • and a “various” page that is just a copy of the index page, because I don’t know what else to do with it at this point.

These were done like a week ago, but I never mentioned them. A few people noticed, and by a few people, I mean Zach. Horay for Zach.

EDIT: Paul claims he noticed them. I claim he only noticed them because I told him about them when I was making them. [2] Nolan also noticed them. Horay for Nolan.

The events of the past few days have left me more drained than I’ve been so far this year. Today is possibly one of the worst days I’ve had. Perhaps it was the eight hours of homework I had last night. Perhaps it was the three hours of sleep that followed that. Perhaps it was being 5 minutes late to school, again. Perhaps it was the 62 on the latest CIM test (yes, we actually work in there, Paul). Perhaps it was the Physics test I didn’t finish. Perhaps it was the 57 I got on my latest Math test (I didn’t feel so bad when I saw another kid, whom I believe to be rather specialized in Math, got a 12). Take your pick (or perhaps that’s my pick).

All of this, and my progress report that came over the weekend, has lead me to try and figure out a better course of action beyond “get more sleep”. There’s no way I’m gonna pull out of 2 D’s and 2 C’s just through getting more sleep (and thereby doing better on homework and quizzes). One thing that keeps running through the back of my head is this constant reminder of what other people think of me. I constantly compare what am doing now to what I’ve done in the past. This is a pretty unfortunate thing to do.

This is all to say that I don’t know if I have the ability to do everything at once. I so desperately want to prove my intelligence to other people, that I end up making myself look more idiotic than otherwise. What I’m trying to do at this point is basically cutting my losses. The first order of business is Math. Tomorrow, I’m dropping down to regents. I know I could do it, but it’s not worth it to me. I will take the same level of Math next year either way, when I’ll have all the time in the world to do what I want to do. I know I could do the work, but 4 hours of homework a night is more than I am willing to do. Math makes up the majority of time spent working at home. Besides, a class with Gwen (that is, if it isn’t full yet) would be nice.

That brings me to the second order of business. Generally, I haven’t kept my friends in my loop for a few months now. It’s not to blame on being busy, because I was doing it during the summer as well. I haven’t figured what to do to rectify the situation, but getting a little more free time is a step, I suppose.

The third order of business is Robotics. It’s something I’d love to do, and I’m not entirely sure as to whether I’ll have room for it. Supposedly build season is massively busy. I don’t know. I’m slightly more inclined to do it after dropping down in Math. It sounds like something to get me out of the house, if nothing else.

And finally, the fourth order of business is dating. In line with considering what I need in my life right now, I’m not sure if romance is a part of that. Before you all start saying “What romance?”, it’s not about what is, but what could be. I frequently manage to get myself hugely confused whenever a girl walks into the picture. Removing that factor entirely by saying “no, I’m not even gonna bother with that right now.” may be a healthier thing to do at this point. It’s not that I’m getting anywhere, it’s more that I spent a lot of time in my head getting nowhere. I just don’t see a hugely compelling reason to spend my time worrying about that stuff right now, and the only way I can truly enforce that is by cutting it off entirely, and leaving it for later. I don’t know when later is, but it’s not now, and it’s not soon. There are other reasons, but none that I can accurately engender here.

Another inspiration for all this is the fact that I never seem to have room for sitting down for 15 minutes to read my Bible and pray. I usually do it before I go to sleep, since that’s when I can concentrate best. But when it comes down to getting 15 minutes of sleep or reading my Bible, I’m never coherent enough at that point to actually make the better choice.

And with that, I leave you all to your business.

EDIT: I am aware that “hooray” is spelled with one two O’s. The single O is purposeful.