(edit: a disclaimer – I will be poking with the template, but because Blogger’s tossed in a lot of new features, I’ll be starting from their template and going on. things might look terribly cookie-cutter or just terrible, so don’t whine at me)
I haven’t posted for several months. Where to start?
A redesign is high on the mind-priority, you might say. I find the current incarnation to be increasingly stale, like crackers with too many years behind them, and perhaps too many ahead of them. The long delays haven’t been the product of any lack of desire or motivation – really, I don’t know why I haven’t come back here in so long. I love my blog, I love the little microcosm I created on this series of tubes. Why I would ever consider giving it up, I cannot know. I only know that this isn’t an isolated problem.
Why haven’t I been running in two months? Why did I skip school for eight full days (thirteen for poor first period Math)? Why am I at home now? Why is my life so hard to manage when there is so very little to be managed?
No, no, I’m not in a state of distress, I’m just in a void, of sorts. I’m displeased knowing that a year from now, I’ll probably be sitting in this same chair, in the same place of this blasted yellow box called my bedroom. I’m going to TC3 (though I have yet to fill out the application), I don’t know what I’ll study, I don’t know where I’ll work in the mean-time (though I do know where I’ll be living – for some kind of fee, I’ll be remaining at home, as it’s the best option, even if it’s closer in proximity to my parents than I would prefer). I’m taking my driver’s test in twenty-two days. Life moves, but it moves like a sloth. I’m impatient for graduation to come, and yet I know that there are other features of this life that are passing by, that I’m missing.
SK has claimed 1825 hours, but I’m on the brink of quitting. No, I’m not addicted (nor was I ever).
Some day, I think I might try and build a strong reputation. I dislike having none – I don’t mind implications of stupidity among friends and acquaintences, I know they’re nothing more than a jest, but my insecurities lead such comments to strike more deeply at home than they might appear.
I don’t think I’ll make a post this insightful for a while. It feels wrong, and probably is. I’ll try and keep up with posting. No promises, though (not that anyone would take my word on such a thing).