Category: life

0.o

Wow. This was a strange day. I sort of felt…invisible. Which is different. It’s not like people didn’t notice me, it’s just, like, my comments seemed without meaning or something. It’s hard to define. I went nuts at lunch, but that’s another story for a different day. Went through the day without much stress, considering last night, which I will now explain.

Yesterday I was planning on walking home and hanging around the commons for a half-hour or so today. Wait, that didn’t make sense. Today I was planning on walking home and spending time on the commons, and I told my parents, but all of a sudden they come out with this bull. They don’t think its safe for me to be on the commons. They really think I’m gonna get pulled in by some random stoner, smoke some weed, and get addicted? My parents are such…such….asses. After I argued with them for a good 20 minutes on the subject, they essentially said they don’t believe I’m old enough to do anything on my own, whether they said it literally or not, it doesn’t matter. I know this town well, I spent the entire summer biking places, and being very self-sufficient. Now when I want to hang with my friends at the commons, things change. I can’t be trusted, its not safe, they think the people that are there are all druggies. Oh how I despise them, I truly do. My dad promptly gave me a 1 hour lecture after the arguement, which I was successful in completely ignoring. It’s fun pissing them off, but why does he think 3 lectures in one week will help? Oh well, enough ranting on THAT subject.

The whole lecturing thing doesn’t get to me really, it just becomes a bother. Only thing i fear about that is getting grounded. Problem is, I was too compliant for 2 years in a row, they thought they had complete control. They underestimated me, they really did. Both my brothers did the same thing I did, only they threw their acedemic lives with it. I don’t intend to do that. I respect my brothers a great deal, but, I know some of their mistakes, which I don’t intend on making.

^^

Really good day, excepting one big mistake I made to a friend at skool. Apparantly there was quite a bit of confusion on who I was talking about when I said this, so I’ve made a point of it not being anyone from church. I just wish I would think about the what I say a bit harder…being in a bad mood is never an excuse for being unkind.

-.-

Bad day. I stayed up till around, oh, 1 AM finishing up my Biology project which I printed at skool. I am so da…rn tired right now. I have a lot of homework to do, and I’m not really feeling any better than i was yesterday, but I’m glad skool’s back again. I missed it. I didn’t really accomplish anything over the weekend except perhaps procrastinating on important things. I still haven’t mowed those lawns. I need a power nap before I do ANYTHING else.

-.-

Tried to give you warning

But everyone ignores me

Told you everything you loud and clear

But nobody’s listening

Called to you so clearly

But you don’t wanna hear me

Told you everything loud and clear

But nobody’s listening

Got a heart full of pain, head full of stress

Nobody’s Listening

Hand full of anger held in my chest

Nobody’s listening

Uphill struggle, blood, sweat, and tears

Nobody’s listening

Nothing to gain, everything to fear

Nobody’s listening

I should have listened to my better senses.

…

On a different plane, I downloaded some Linkin Park music. Feels nice to have something different with a good tune. I’ve also decided to make the titles for all my posts smilies. From best to worst, here’s a chart of what each smiley will represent.

^^ – best

0.o

…

-.-

>.< – worst

I like the way those things express my feelings about stuff. They actually look like me, a bit. 0.o

I will try and edit my previous posts’ titles to match this format.

>.<

Day started out good, got most of my observation for Bio done. Went over to Sam’s house, we played some games, nothing much happened. Day kinda fell apart though…[sigh] Oh well. Excuse me a moment as I kick the wall.

Nothing that concerns anyone else, only me, so I’m not sharing it. Though I will share my feelings on it, however. Sucks so bad to be in my positiong at this moment. [sigh] Why me? Why me? Why do I gotta be the one with this damn [pardon the curse, but no other word suffices in expressing my feelings right now…] curse? WHY? Any other problem would have been fine, but why do I gotta be the one that’s ugly? I hate myself, I really do. I thought maybe it wasn’t true, but now I KNOW it is, I really am my own enemy. [sigh] Back to where I started.

I need song lyrics right now that sufficiently describe my feelings…

^^

Today’s been interesting. I played a -lot- of Halo…did my homework. Not terribly interesting, but that’s alright. One wierd thing though, a girl I met via Zach, Zoe, and I were chatting over IM, and we thought we had never seen eachother, but last Saturday, when I was hanging at Sam’s house, we went to the mall. Guess who. It was really freaky, because both of us came to the conclusion at the same time….here’s a clip:

Steak220 (11:13:03 PM): did u go to the mall last saturday?

Zezinger (11:13:07 PM): yup

Zezinger (11:13:08 PM): wait

Zezinger (11:13:10 PM): that was you!

Steak220 (11:13:10 PM): I SAW YOU!!!

Steak220 (11:13:12 PM): ROFL

Zezinger (11:13:14 PM): yea!!!

Zezinger (11:13:15 PM): lmao

Just so random, though. Kinda woke me up though.

0.o

I’m feeling pretty good right now. I got really ticked at myself at church, and if I had more time, I would have spent all of it pacing around. I wish I could have gone running, it’s what I like to do to burn off energy. So far everything’s quiet. Played Halo, drank some coke, talked to people. I feel….at peace.

I haven’t finished any of my homework, project included, but I’m confident I can finish the project tomorrow. I WILL do my normal homework, tonight however. And besides that, I plan on an uneventful day. Tomorrow will be busy, unfortunately. Two customers to mow for, and it will definately end the mowing season. These people are crazy!

…

Today’s been interesting. I mowed a lawn, spent 25 minutes on my project, prolly gonna do my normal homework later. Not as bad as yesterday, but could be better. I’ll probably finish my observation time tomorrow, write it up Monday. It wasn’t so bad sitting out there, though. It’s kinda nice just to take a second of doing absolutely NOTHING.

-.-

I wish one of my friends from skool would, come over, or call me, or SOMETHING. I’m so bored! Not to mention I’m procrastinating. I’ve got a project that should take around 5 hours to complete. Hopefully I can get an A on it, though starting it this late will probably give me a B. But that’s still good for a long term project.

[sigh] I need something to distract me for the next few hours…

-.-

What a boring Friday. I’ve spent most of it playing games. My only hope to salvage it is if Ben has a party, which seems doubtful.

I’m testing out this new cut-down version of Blogger that allows me to post without logging in. It’s pretty nifty. Got some paying work to do around the neighborhood, hopefully I’ll end up with enough to pay off my dad.

^^

My wonderful 4 day weekend has arrived, and I can now mock my homeskooling friends as they slave until 2:00! Muhahaha…[power].

This week has been great. I’m finally getting to know some people at my skool. It always starts out with everybody you know being just acquaintences, but I’m getting past that point, and I’m really happy about it. Making new friends is truly one of the more enjoyable things in life.

Sam’s gone for the weekend, which makes me pretty annoyed, for my own reasons. It’s nice having a friend at church and crap that’s in touch with reality. Hopefully I won’t end up being too bored this weekend.

UPDATE: I’m really bored. This weekend aint looking so good. I’ve got a 10-hour research project to do this weekend, 2 lawns to mow, and the regular band of homework. 🙁

UPDATE: Really, really bored. Was reading a friends blog, and wow, I never realized what goes on in his life. To be in his position….I don’t wanna think about it.

-.-

I’m really bored, sort of. I have stuff to do, but I’m in that mood where I can’t stop thinking about something and its really, really distracting. And it really doesn’t help me do anything ELSE that coud be productive. Like…homework. [cough]

I’m really, really restless. And it aint caffeine.

0.o

Well I survived my 5th Monday in school. I can’t believe we’re already over 1/8 through the school year. THAT’S A LONG WAY!

Today was just like every other day, though I now refuse to chew gum at school, but I certainly aint posting why. I didn’t do much today, but my dad took me to Chinese Buffet. Prolly to try and set us on good terms or something. He’s just becoming more and more annoying. Just like the “A” on my keyboard. I spilled Coke on my keyboard and its really aggravating how the keys react now. THEY STILL WORK THOUGH!

My mom gets back tonight. They had to fly seperate flights. I am not looking forward to her, either. I enjoy my lone wolf thing. Random note: The ad in my AIM posts in large letters: INTOLERABEL CRUELTY: IN theaters October 10th. WHO NAMES A MOVIE INTOLERABLE CRUELTY??? Whatever.

-.-

The weekend at Sam’s house was fun. I thought Sam and I would end up in our usual deadlock of ‘What do u wanna do? I dunno, what do u wanna do?’. We went to the mall, I got Halo PC. That game is too much fun. I earned 20 bux by helping Sam clean his van. It was really, really sick. And not in a good way.

One thing I discovered over the past 3 days: Sam knows way too many girls. Way too many. It really sucks, none of them seem to notice me either. It’s like “[Sam] Oh yeah, this is my friend Tim. [Me] Hello! [Random Girl] Uhh, hi. So Sam, blablabla…” NONE OF THEM NOTICE ME! [Grr]. I just dont have a very striking way with girls. I get along with the girls i know just fine, but making new friends that are girls is nearly impossible. Any females reading this wouldn’t really understand.

Overall a fun week. My parents get home tomorrow, though. I am NOT looking forward to it. I really can’t stand them. I don’t HATE them, but the only good I see them doing for me is giving me food and clothes. I earn all my money on my own, its not like they ever give me any money. I can’t wait till I can drive so I don’t have to depend on them for transportation. Hopefully my dad won’t bug me much this week. Though neither of my aprents are worse, they’re equally horrific. My mom is annoying, nagging, and never shuts up about stupid stuff. My dad is prying, annoying, and clueless. They really are aggravating. I could rant on about my parents for another few hundred words or so, but I’ll spare you people.

0.o

Interesting past two weeks. Today’s update: I’m off MY computer for a week [until Monday], so I’m on my mom and dad’s. Probably won’t post until Monday again, so this is a long one. I got Vice City working, but that was a week or so ago. Been having lots of fun with that. I should be getting Halo PC on Friday or Saturday, though it depends on whether Ben invites me to his next party. I put out a message to all my customers to pay up on the whopping $132 they owe me. 32 goes to getting Halo PC. The rest is for my dad. I’ve got a $30 EB card and $10 Best Buy card, and I’ve got $15 right now, so I’m covered. If worse comes to worse, I can just go for the money Jonathan offered and use my EB card and 15 bux. It’s all good.

Concerning Daniel, Emma and Jesse, Daniel said he emailed Maria. He hasn’t given me what her response was, but I’m going to be interested in hearing it. I’m not angry about it anymore, now that I know what went down. Hopefully should all be in the past in a few days. I didn’t really gain much out of this experience, but I hope Daniel and Jesse learned something about me and my attitude. I can be fiesty sometimes, and when I get angry I show it. I know some of the things I said may not have been justified in my situation, but I felt they needed to be said in order to make my point at the time. I do appreciate y’all’s concern over me, but too much concern is very definately not a good thing.

So, I’ve gone through Halo PC, money, Vice City, friend problems, what else do I need to cover? Oh yeah. I’ve been forced to move back upstairs into my closet, and I’ll probably be staying up here for a while. I’ve moved our 13″ TV up and my XBox and PS1 up too, but the connection on the TV is so awful its not really playable. If I could get a new adapter I might be set, but I don’t have any. Oh well. At least this room has my clothes in it, and its not cold. Of course the only reason my other room was cold is because of the fact I leave the window open at night. Oddly enough, I sleep MUCH better when the outside air is cold, and I have enough coveres to keep me nice and cozy warm. It just puts me right to sleep. Heh, I can’t wait for snow. I wont enjoy the commute in school and crap, but that’s ok. So long as I can still wear my normal shoes without too much annoyance, it’s not too bad. That’s what lockers are for, right? Of course, now that it takes longer to get ready for school, it can take me anywhere from 15-20 minutes, depending on how much sleep I got the night before.

Wow. This was a LONG post. It should cover for the next week at least.

>.<

Apparantly Maria’s entire youth group is now praying for me because public school is ‘changing me’.

Daniel, Emma, Jesse, this is YOUR fault. You had absolutely NO RIGHT to go yelling to people completely uninvolved in this perceived ‘problem with me’. I said this before: there is no problem to be fixed, and I don’t want the help that you think I need. I am fine. I know myself better than you know me, and I know I am fine. Just leave it alone, I know what you think, but once again, it was COMPLETELY uncalled for and COMPLETELY out-of-line to go telling over a dozen other people of a problem I DON’T HAVE!

…

Well I’m through Tuesday. I’m starting to love school. Despite the amount of time it requires, it really is enjoyable. Now all I need is a girlfriend… 😀

Well I have Vice City, but it doesn’t work. The Italian Readme was corrupted [conspiracy?]. Gonna get a new one soon hopefully. I now have a CD-RW. It works, as I have already tested it out with some Halo movies I’ll be giving to one of my friends.

I discovered I can get ready for school in a new record of 19 minutes [including shower!]. Yeah! I used to take 20 minutes just for the shower part. Hehehe.

Anyways, I have to go with my mom and dad [as if that weren’t bad enough] to dinner with one of their friends. This means I’ll have no time for anything tonight. If I want some time for later tonight, then I gotta do some homework, so, I better go do some homeworl, right? Right.

^^

Well I’m back home on a Saturday near-afternoon. Last night was awesome. I went over with my 32″ TV, my XBox, Halo, a Hub, and we played some sweet 4 vs 3 Halo. Also played GTA3 and that about comprised our night. We had some pizza, but, the selection of coke, only being sprite, was really dissapointing. Who wants SPRITE with pizza? Oh well.

In any case, I’m back home, with all my stuff intact. On an odd note, Daniel called me in the middle of the party. I don’t know why. He went through all the trouble of fetching the number from the Luddy’s, and called me to say something that I couldn’t understand. I can’t call him now that he’s in Rochester for his guitar classes. Hopefully he’ll be back sometime in the near future.

…

Well not much is going down tonight, but tomorrow should be fun. After school I’m heading to Ben’s house, and I’m gonna spend the night. Hopefuly I’ll be bringing my xbox stuff, and we’ll play some Halo, and other stuff. I’m trying to negotiate a TV from my dad. I gotta do some homework soon, so this will be short.

Anyways. Tomorrow I’ve got a Global Studies Introduction Test. I’m taking all my classes for Honors credit now, so everything will start getting harder. Other than that, life is normal. Pfft. Yeah right.