rut

an unsorted thought dump.

there’ve been a lot more homeless folks near my office in the last month. i suppose it’s because it’s warm out now. the dystopia of it is impossible for the brain to resolve. you tune it out, because that’s the only choice. but sometimes the smell is overwhelming. or sometimes you’re face-to-face with someone’s bare ass cheeks as you walk up the stairs from the subway. how many times this week will i wonder if that person sprawled on the ground is asleep or dead? oops, better not be late for standup.

on the subway home today i was surrounded by six (6) people that were all scrolling through instagram. people don’t smile when they’re looking at social media. they don’t laugh or cry. it reminds of that trance-like zombie state i remember feeling when i watched tv as a kid. maybe they do feel things and they’re afraid to let it slip because it’s the subway. or maybe they’re just tired and trying to zone out for a minute because they had a hard day and they’ve earned it. i should post this thought for someone else to scroll through on their commute tomorrow morning.

whenever i see someone open spotify on their phone i want to ask them what they’re listening to. but i know that would be grossly uncouth. it is federal law not to speak to anyone with headphones in. still, i wish we had norms for sharing and openness.

things can change, things will change. but damn if it isn’t hard to see how that’s gonna happen from our current vantage point. it feels like the whole world’s in a rut, and we’re all just waiting for climate change to stir the pot a little harder.

joe biden fucking sucks.

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